something

It's been a while since I've tried to write on here.  Not feeling much inspiration lately, and also I've been quite busy.  But, here's a spanking meme I found from this blog, I thought it would be fun to fill this out.  It was interesting to answer questions like these.




Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cozy fire? Fire.



Would you rather be spanked in public or in private?  Private, at least at first!


Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked? Be spanked, obviously!

Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker's pleasure? Both. I feel like those are two things that are pretty entwined.




Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? Either.  Or both!

Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? Belt



Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? Paddle



Would you rather be restrained or unrestrained during your spanking? I think unrestrained




Would you rather be spanked until you cried or until you are aroused? Well, both, preferably


Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises? I think I'd take the blushing cheeks


Would you rather be spanked for the naughty things you have done or just because you enjoy the experience? Either




Would you rather be spanked with pants up/skirt down or pants down/skirt up? Pants down/skirt up




Would you rather be spanked with panties up or panties down? Around my knees or ankles.


Would you rather be spanked somewhat clothed or entirely naked? Somewhat clothed, I think

Would you rather your spanking be strictly disciplinarian or sexually attractive in nature? I can't imagine a spanking that isn't on some level sexual.




Would you rather be spanked by a male or by a female? Male


Would you rather be spanked OTK or bent over a table/chair? Again, either

 Would you rather your spanker have physical contact with you? 100%




Would you prefer to be spanked in the woods with a tree branch, bent over the hood of a car, or in a school with a ruler bent over the desk of your teacher/principal? Hmm.  Over the hood of a car or in a school with a ruler are closer to my taste.




Would you rather be a brat to your spanker to deserve a spanking or simply ask your spanker for a spanking because you know you needed it? Honestly, I'm still so uncomfortable talking about this kind of thing that I would probably just brat my way into one.




Have you received a spanking in the past week? No



Would you rather be spanked for the physical pleasure or the emotional release? Aren't these things related?


Would you rather tell your best friends you enjoy be spanked or keep it secret? SECRET!  Definitely secret.




Would you rather spanking be a lifestyle choice or just something you dabble in? Lifestyle. 




Would you rather your lover be a vanilla or a spankoholic too? Spanko, hopefully.  At least GGG.




Would you rather be spanked by a stranger or by someone who knew you well? Certainly someone I knew well and trusted.


Would you rather be spanked by despotic, mean person or by a compassionate, benevolent person? A compassionate, benevolent person who agrees that I need a proper thrashing.




Would you rather be talked to while you are spanked or no talking at all?  Some talking, probably.



Would you rather get one swat at a time with pauses to let the sting set in or a continuous tanning to build up the fire? I feel like this would depend on the spanking and the implement.




Would you rather be forced into a spanking or willingly submit into a spanking? Either




Would you rather have a safe word or be pushed beyond your preconceived limits? I have no idea.


Would you rather your spanker know your spanking history or is ignorance bliss? Definitely know my history.




Would you rather be spanked by multiple people at one time or just by one person at one time? One.


Would you rather be spanked once a day or once every few months? I don't know.  I'm sure I would want it with relative frequency, though.



Would you rather your spanker be deeply in tune or be totally unaffected to your experience as a spankee? Somewhere in the middle, I would hope.


Would you rather a closer physical relationship or a closer emotional relationship with your spanker? Both


Would you rather your spanker ice your bottom down after a spanking or send you to the corner to display his/her accomplishment? I'll admit it, I have a bit of a thing for corner time.  Especially of the panties-down, skirt-up variety.


Would you rather your spanker be the person you wish to live the rest of your life with (i.e. marriage) or the person you can call on when your tushy tickles? I don't know.  At this point, I would like my spanker to be a person I'm dating, but I have no inclination to marry anytime soon.


Would you rather spanking be a part of love making or not a part of love making? A mixture of both.




Would you rather your spanker have total control over you when you are being spanked or do you still want to have some control while you are being spanked? This I don't know.




Would you rather be humiliated or respected during your spanking? I feel like spankings are in and of themselves humiliating, but I would probably like it to be taken a bit further than even just that.



Would you rather spanking become part of a bigger BDSM alternative lifestyle or spanking just be spanking for spanking sake? I dabble into plenty of BDSM practices on occasion, I'm sure I'll continue.




Would you rather be filmed during a spanking to share your exhibitionist naughtiness or are you too modest to show your bum to the world? I probably wouldn't mind being filmed.  I certainly wouldn't mind being photographed.




Would you rather your spanking be gentle and gradual or painful and abrupt? gradual and painful, really.


Would you rather be defiant or fearful going into a spanking? I don't know.  Probably defiant.



Would you rather be spanked exclusively in your own bedroom or anyplace else other than your own bedroom? Anywhere private.  Bedroom, kitchen, study.


Would you rather be spanked exclusively on your bottom or other places could be interesting too? I really haven't explored enough to answer that question.


Would you rather a spanking be a surprise or be something you have to look forward to? Either/or




Would you rather spanking be a part of role playing kinkiness or a response to events that have happened in reality? Reality.

Hey, before I say anything else about my kink, watch this video below and tell me if Guy Piccioto (the dancing man in the orange shirt) isn't the most adorable man to have ever lived.  If I'm being honest, I'll go ahead and admit that Guy is the prototype of what I find attractive in men.  Whoa.

And I promise an actual update soon, by Tuesday at the latest. 

Fugazi - Waiting Room

so it goes

"You'll see how good it is to be flogged..."

I've been seeing a guy who lives in a nearby city for a while now, and he's been playfully threatening me with a spanking for quite some time.  But he's never acted upon it.  And aside from possible drunken confessions that we both promptly forgot in the hungover haze of the next morning, we haven't really talked about it.  And it... is... killing me.  I'm loathe to discuss it with him, and that's strange enough because we're perfectly comfortable talking about the other kinky stuff we do.  If he has any inkling of how strong my desire for this is, then he's waiting for me to bring up the subject.  And I never bring up the subject because, well, I'm still pretty embarrassed about this entire thing.

And I know that I need to "vocalize my needs" to him, or whatever the current gooey relationship vocabulary for that is these days.  I want to, too.  I just need to figure out what to say.  He needs to know that I don't want this to be a 24/7 DD relationship, that he doesn't have to change who he is to be able to do it, that I know he's capable.  He is a great, intelligent, and super kinky man, and he's incredibly empathetic.  I'm sure if I just talk to him about what it is I do and don't want he'd be more than willing to comply.  Plus he is a hot-blooded American male.  I really don't think that many men would turn down the chance to spank a willing lady, but I could be wrong...

I really like this idea of Dan Savage's in an old column of his.  But before I get any necklaces I need to start the action, and to do that I have to talk.

It's a shame that I'm so terrible at communication.  I just want to be like this couple, they look like they're having quite a bit of fun:

introduction

Well, I wanted to do a more introductory post, but I'm pretty bad at writing about myself.  So here is a survey I found!

Age: 23

Birthday: 3rd August
Height:  right around five feet
Home Town: Midwest somewhere

Physical appearance: short, hourglass figure, athletic

Hobbies/interests: drawing, reading as many books as possible, travel/adventure, writing, painting, (self-) portraiture, political science/foreign relations, gardening
What is your favorite car: I really love Peugots and Alfa Romeos, and also the Toyota Corolla.
Favorite food: I seriously love food.  Green curry, szechwan squid/eggplant, sushi, pumpkin-anything, pasta of almost any variety... the list could go on
Favorite song of all time: "Disconnection Notice" by Sonic Youth, or possibly "Train in Vain" by the Clash
Favorite song now: "In the Mouth a Desert," Pavement (Live November '94 version)
Favorite band/artist: Let's go with Sonic Youth
Favorite music genre: noise, no wave, post-hardcore, whatever you consider the fore-runners of indie rock ("alternative"? "college rock"?)
Favorite movie: To Sir With Love (I am a big Lulu fan, and an even bigger Poitier fan!). Other contenders for the throne are The Graduate, Easy Rider, Wayne's World, and The Phantom Carriage (1923?)
Favorite actor/actress: Danny DeVito, no lie
Favorite TV show: 30 Rock.  Parks & Recreation RIP
Favorite word or phrase: "most assuredly"
Likes: sleep, privacy, seeing friends, traveling around, bright colors in unexpected combinations, goth music, bird watching, CSPAN, paying attention to things, cool tones, neutrals, scotch, good beer
Dislikes: outrageously large overdue fines at libraries (although these are ALWAYS my fault), cheap beer, poor aesthetic taste, paying too much for bad museum exhibits, slow-moving trains
Hates:  people who convince others to work against their interests politically, really cold weather (anything less than 20 degrees Fahrenheit), not being able to focus
Loves:  books, rough sex, obscure music, sinister and/or menacing sounding classical compositions, my friends

asking for it

This isn't going to be the best written post on the subject, but this is the second or third time I've ever even tried to write about it.  Over the years I've been heartened by the trend of strong, smart, gutsy feminist spanko women bloggers and erotica writers who are doing a wonderful job of exploring and explaining this kink we share.  And if these ladies are strong enough to stand up for what they want and enjoy, so am I.

So I'll tell you what I want, Ginger Spice.  What I really, really want:  I want a spanking.  A long, hard spanking, probably until I cry.  I want it from someone that I trust, someone who finds is both amicable to the task at hand and capable of completing it.  Someone who respects me and realizes that my taste in sexual activities doesn't mean that I believe that women are in any way inferior to men.  I do not want anyone playing games with me, or holding my kink over my head like it's something to be ashamed of.  I don't want power struggles, or a 24/7 submissive lifestyle, or otherwise gendered relationship roles.  Just a spanking, that is all.  Pretty simple, right? 

Unfortunately, I've never really had the opportunity to explore this side of my sexuality, in no small part due to lack of willing partners.  Understandably enough, it seems that many otherwise progressive and feminist men are somewhat unwilling to hurt their partner in play, even when that partner has explicitly stated these desires.  In fact, sometimes it appears to me that there's a direct correlation between being unwilling to explore this thing we (want) to do and being a progressive and feminist man.  I have complete empathy with these guys.  For years I wasn't even able to mention that I'm into this to people; I was afraid of being found out, because this flavor of sexuality is still so unacceptable to most people.  To some it's wrong, disgusting and amoral.  And it's even more wrong to ask for it, or to admit desiring it.  But you know what?  That attitude is fucked.  So here's to the boys and men who are willing to give their ladyfriends what they want, even if it's not politically correct.  Hopefully I'll encounter one soon.

Trying something new

Trying drastically new things always seems to be one of the hardest things for me.  And this blog that I'm starting up, whether it stays public or ends up private, is certainly a new direction for me.  I am going to use this space to explore and ruminate upon my kink.

So to keep it short, I like to be spanked.  Or, maybe I should say, I want to be spanked.  Hard.  Soon.